Sinyi's in a dilemma! :(
He changed into another person in just few days. I couldn't adapt to it. I'm used to what I used to do in the past, wait for his messages (which he didn't bother at all), wait for him to talk to me in msn and stuffs. I can tell you now, all of that just disappeared. I don't know what he wants. I don't know.
He said he's trying not to talk to me b'cus he doesn't want to hurt me anymore.
I think I got what he's trying to say, he's trying to put things in a nicer way -- he finds me irritating and he hates me. Simple.Then he said, but it's not that way.
Hey what? So contradicting? I really don't know what he wants. I really don't. Confused and upset.I asked him to tell me what he actually meant, then he didn't even bother to answer me, and just tell me, I tell you something, actually... I'm going to sleep.
HEY WHAT?! I asked you something really important and you just tell me you going to bed?Just spend a few minutes telling me what you meant can kill you? :(Now I know how "much" I meant to you.If I really don't trust you, I wouldn't be waiting for your sms, and talking to you! C'mon, you're the one who doesn't want to reply me right? Sigh. Go ahead okay. Do anything that makes you happy.
P.S: Tell me what you want okay. Just tell me everything.. Every single thing... I can't take it anymore! :(
I may go crazy anytime from now.
Randomly ranted ♥ 2:54 AM
I just don't wanna believe anything.
You think I want to believe that fucking thing?
I really wanted to trust you, I really do.
I wanted to just trust you, and be that fucking idiot that likes you.
Hey what, you think I'm not tired of all these?
I'm a human too, I get stressed out and sad at times.
You said you'll be there if I'm stressed &sad. Where were you? Tell me..
There's really so much things I want to tell you, just too much.
My whole mind is occupied by you. YOU YOU AND YOU?
Why? How many times I asked myself why. I just couldn't get the answer.
I know you have your stand, but I have mine too.
Do you actually know how I feel and stuffs? I'm really very frustrated over things already, yet you weren't there. Yet you proved me otherwise? Sigh.
Could you just tell me what were you thinking and stuff? Could you just tell me?
I'm upset over some other things, not the clubbing thing.
Clubbing, what do I expect? I can't expect you to like stand there right.
I know. Seriously, I do feel a bit uneasy seeing you with other girls, but what can I do?
Hah! That's the point.
Nobody will ever understand me. Nobody will.
GET A LIFE SINYI. GET A LIFE!
Randomly ranted ♥ 11:02 PM
He asked, why didn't I messaged him today (23/11)
Why should I?Why should I even bother if you don't at all?You are always taking things for granted, ALWAYS.Why don't you ask yourself, why didn't I message her?He said, he thought I'm angry.
I told you I'm not, some more it's already something which had become history.Excuses, it's just excuses.I really had enough of all the excuses that you had made. All lies.
How many times you want to lie?
There's no need for you to lie anymore. Not anymore. I'm not gonna bother.
I'm not gonna believe the excuses you had made, for yourself.
I am sad right now.
Obviously, he's treating me
very differently from last time.
Obviously, he's a
player.
Heard rumors about him being a
two timer.
Obviously, he's
not worth all these.
Looks like I'm gonna spend the festive seasons all alone this year, like I always do.
Christmas, new year...
p.s: Hey, really if you see this, you should really reflect on what you had done and everything. Don't always take things for granted. The world is not spinning for you only. You gotta think about other people feelings too. Well, do take care. And thanks for your present.
Randomly ranted ♥ 8:16 PM
Last night, fun :)
Quite crowded yeah!
Don't wanna mention some unpleasant things last night.
Danced with ping, released some of my sadness and stress.
But just can't get over some things last night.
Keep thinking of it, can't go to sleep though I was tired.
Well, I'm stupid okay.
I'm tired of all these. Let's put it to a stop.
I decided not to think of him, not to like him anymore. It's so tired.
Everything is just so tired. I can't take it already :(
Bye, love ♥
Randomly ranted ♥ 9:52 PM
Hello dairy :)
Long time didn't update! Teehees!
I'm just too busy with everything -- school.
School is giving me a lot of stress, I really mean
a lot.
I almost can't breathe eh! I can't cope with my school work already.
After this period, it's holidays already. How fast time flies?
It's gonna be the last month of year 2007 already! See, a blink of the eye, it's year 2008 soon!
:) Is it a good thing or a bad one?
All the bad karma is happening on me already.
Good luck, sinyi.
Randomly ranted ♥ 1:46 AM
It had been a few days since I last ranted.
Some of the new discoveries today?!
1. Do you know that some people can be really damn fake? I mean it, very.
'Fakest' fucker I ever seen. Faking everything to the maximum.
She can be very good to you at times, and she give cold shoulder to you like nobody's business & pretend to be like total stranger.
How fake can she be. Criticizing people is all she knows.
Proud, arrogant, hypocrite, mean, stingy, self-centered or even
SNOBBISH.
First sight of her, it's already a turn-off, the way she speaks and everything. Wearing HEELS (3-inch&above) to school on the first day? Hey what? You think you're attending some fashion show or something? Not only this, she also thinks that she can sing VERY well. Can you just shut your mouth when you're at class, and most importantly, IN THE LIFT?
Fuck off okay, you're just a contestant who was being eliminated out of the competition. Don't be some
attention seeker okay?!
You're nobody to me, nobody. I despise you. Not b'cus you criticized about me and stuffs, it's b'cus of your fucking attitude.
Fake.2. I actually jump when I'm feeling gay! :)
Burden of my history had been lighten. My appeal letter had been approved! Yeah, it means I wouldn't have to re-take the whole module just b'cus of my attendance and all. YESSSSSS!
3. He cares much more about PSP than me :(
PSP PSP and PSP. All he cares is my psp. When he want to lend psp from me, he treats me really good. I think after I lend him my psp, I'll treated like a piece of shit yeah? :(
That's not good..
Randomly ranted ♥ 1:20 AM
Happy beginning.Stressful and problematic process.Disastrous ending.This is my life. My life. Everything starts happily, and end disastrously.
Everything in my life is in this fucking way.
Stress, stress and
STRESS.
What else can school give me except stress?
I really hate school now.
When I'm not schooling, I'll miss it.
When I'm schooling, I'm really hating it to the max.
Actually all the stress is caused by me, myself.
I deserved all this. Yeap, sinyi deserved all this.
Suffering alone, nobody will ever understand me. &&Nobody took the effort to.
Well, I'm getting really emotional nowadays! What's up man! Hahaha!
I love you! You love me!We're happy family!With gun shot bang bang,Barney on the floor,No more purple purple dinosaur! :(
Don't mind me. I'm mad :)
Randomly ranted ♥ 9:29 PM
Hi guys, I'm back to blogging after a few days of rest. Didn't online for a few days already.
And guess what! I actually got debarred from history exam, this coming Friday, b'cus I didn't meet the required attendance.
F Chua Poh Leng okay. He doesn't wanna help me to talk to the head of department.
I'm damn sad can!
&&I didn't turn up for figure drawing lesson today. Sigh.
Why am I like that. Stupid sinyi. Idiotic Sinyi!
I have a fucked up life. Oh yeah, fucked up life.
Randomly ranted ♥ 1:27 PM
Hi guys, I'm in the school right now. Blogging about my daily life which I had not done that for a long time! Hahaha.
Using my school's lousy laptop (not any better than mine) to do some research. Got lots and lots of work to be done yeah. Fuck it! Wahahaha!
Go to hell, sinyi! It's my own fault not completing my homework and pass up on time.
I think I'm gonna fail this semester. Fail.
It's time to get artistic and start drawing and designing! Still got illustrations to draw for tomorrow's printmaking.
Alright, sinyi is still very sick for your information. Very sick.
He did offer his accompany to visit a doctor with me, b'cus he's sick too!
How sweet :) Well, I didn't agree b'cus I had classes this morning. It's not I don't want to, but I had classes, get what I mean?
He said I changed. Did I? Changed for the better or the worse?
Or is it just him who had changed? He said I changed in the way I treat him and all. But did he think of how he treat me at the first place?
I asked him to compare how he treat me now and how he treat me in the past. There's a great difference can?
Don't take things for granted. Really.
To think some things are always there for you, you wouldn't aprreciate, and only when things are gone, then you'll start to
regret. That's something I had learnt from my past mistakes.
Was surfing the net and I happened to come across this words.
I had been a sole player in the game called l♥ve, I did my best and played good, but still ended up as a loser. Then I realized that in this game, you cannot win without someone who's willing to play the game with you till the end.
Randomly ranted ♥ 3:11 PM
True love doesn't exist in this world :(
& It doesn't pay off to be good!
:(
我喜欢的人，不喜欢我。
Randomly ranted ♥ 2:05 AM
Sinyi is damn sick already. I think I'm dying soon :(
Sinyi is sad now. Sinyi is sadddddddddddd :(
Emotions inside me:
Why he doesn't he seems to understand. Why?
Maybe I didn't say it out?
Why? Why? Why? Hmmm..
Why I
like him so much when I know he won't like me back?
Why I
deserve all these things?
Why must I be the one who's always taking the
initiative?
Why must I
miss him so much when he won't even think of me?
Why must I
like him.
Why? :(
It's really better to have a person who likes &love you.
Fuck all these shit.
Maybe I should just give up on him. Just give up.He's treating me like a toy, he doesn't like me, I should
give up.
Reality:Come on luh, grow up luh sinyi. We are not even together! Why MUST he message you every single day? Why must he reply every single message you sent? Why must he share his problems with you? Why must he meet you? Why must he celebrate your birthday with you? Why must he even care for you? Why?! So, stop all the annoying complains!
Yeah, why? :) We're not even together man. Haa! Got it already. We're not even together, and his actions tells me, we can never be together...
There's a voice in me that starts to say:
Just die okay, sinyi. Just die.
Randomly ranted ♥ 12:15 AM
